Nature astounds me. Although I doth protest, and loudly, about the fading warmer temperatures, I must concede that fall is my favourite season. Brilliant colors bursting forth as the season changes fire off my pleasure centre and increase my desire to be in the midst of the transformations. Sunlight still presses into my skin and awakens my cells with its deposits of life and vitamin d. My thoughts are filled with God and wonder and creativity as I walk among the fallen leaves. In those moments I want to experience all that He has for me and freeze frame the astonishment.
Sometimes I am so overwhelmed that I think I am strange. My wonder is almost tangible, the desire to experience the fullness of nature consumes me. I literally could sit and watch the trees change colors, or soak in a sunrise or sunset repeatedly. For me it never gets tiring to witness these wonders. It is like I want to take a giant straw and slurp down every last bit of life that these creations offer.
Ok I also concede to the fact that I am a little strange but my heart rests in that. Strange – unusual or surprising in a way that is unsettling or hard to understand. Some people may find my faith strange, others may find my straw gulping desires strange, still others may see my writing as strange. Photosynthesis is strange, this process of plants turning water and carbon dioxide into oxygen and sugar so that the plants may live and how as the season shortens and the light lessens, the chlorophyll leaves the leaf, exposing the colors that were there all along. So likewise, even though my faith, my desires, my process of writing may be unseen, they are all still a part of me.
God’s love is never-changing but what does change is our ability to receive His love. My prayer over the past few months has been the Ezekiel 36:26 prayer that God will remove my heart of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh. My friend sent me the New Living Translation which I don’t often read but I love how it translates this verse, “And I will put a new spirit in you, I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.
I see evidence as God heals what has been broken in my heart and removes my shame to give me freedom that it is from this more tender, responsive heart that I drink in His goodness. I think it was Joyce Meyer that recently said, Even though God has amazing things in our future, He is limited by our capacity to receive. I don’t want to be limited any longer, I want to do the things that I can and co-operate with God’s healing so my spirit can awaken to be loved and to love myself and others. A while ago I asked God for a song and although I don’t think True Colors was written as a Christian song, I choose to see God in it. Praying that your true colors will shine through, as the leaf in the fall and that your hearts will rest in Him. Strange or not.