The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,[a]
2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.
God has been speaking these verses to me for months. This weekend as I finished the second school for Elijah House prayer ministry 202, I realized the very personal implications this word had for me. This captive has been set free!!! For the 13 years that I have been a Christian I have sensed there was more. It was like looking through prison bars, knowing the intimacy I sought with God was within reach but seemingly unreachable. I tried my hardest to live the ‘Christian life’, by going to church, reading my Bible and praying and serving and there certainly have been many amazing things God has done during those years. I believed everything about Jesus and the bible in my head but my heart was unable to connect. Words arent sufficient to describe the agony of my spirit wanting the intimacy with God, yet nothing seemed to penetrate my heart. I began this deeper healing journey over a year ago after I experienced a time of depression and burn out.
My striving spilled over into many areas of my life and combined with different life events it stopped me. Something had to change. God was calling me to heal to release me to help others do the same. I learned to rest and to say no and to care for my spirit and soul. In the midst of this time Lighthouse for All Nations was offering the Elijah House school and I felt strongly that this was the direction to go. It is the mandate of Elijah House to bring healing, unlocking the doors of our heart and with the Holy Spirit bringing people to repentance and reconciliation, transforming as they say the unbelieving parts of the believer’s heart. If we were all really honest we could admit we have those places in us or I think the church would look completely different from what it does now. Now do I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sin and shame and all past, present and future sin was nailed to the cross? Absolutely, we have all missed the mark and need a Savior. Romans 3:23 says, ‘for we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God.’ And Colossians 2:14 says that Jesus, ‘ having cancelled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross.’
I also believe that because of vows I made to protect my heart, lies that I believed and judgments that I made created a propensity or bent toward certain behaviours that kept my heart captive. Often it is not circumstances that bind us up but it is our responses to those things that do. What did your heart say when …… (fill in the blank) happened. We don’t even need to verbalize these vows our heart makes for our spirit to know they are there. For example without getting into detail I made a vow not to feel, how do you think that messed with my God-given emotions and interrupted my responses to my heart? Sometimes this bent toward certain behaviours comes down through the generations and we have opportunity to stand and put the cross between that and us and our future generations. So it is not just for me that I receive this healing, it is for my family, their families to come and those that God wants to touch through me. Is it difficult sometimes and does the enemy try to keep me from being free, without question, yes! Reminder – John 10:10 ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.’
This is my story, it is God’s story. It may not be everyone’s story, God heals us all very uniquely. My call is not to judge how others’ get there and to be faithful to the things that God calls me to do. There is more to do for sure, our final healing won’t occur until Jesus returns. God was very specific to my heart as people prayed with and over me this past weekend, they said things about me that they had no idea were true. Only God can do that. And if only one person is encouraged or has a glimpse of hope because of me being vulnerable and sharing my journey, that is beautiful. It is not about me really. ‘They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.’ Revelation 12:11 So I will continue to write the words, I received a word from God that one day this gift He has given me will resurrect hearts! Oh Lord, so be it!!! My purpose is to glorify God. I am here for such a time as this. Pray with me that He will awaken our spirits to be who He has created us to be!
‘The glory of God is man fully alive and the life of man is the vision of God.’ Saint Irenaeus